This story was originally posted on our Patreon in February 2018. The reason I decided to release this one publicly now is because I read the lyrics to BTS' Singularity and thought there was an uncanny similarity and wanted to share it. I actually wrote it while listening to BTS' Crystal Snow on repeat. What do you think? -Ajané
Author: Ajané J.K. Celestin
In another universe, would we...
...have been able to be together?
Sitting in a car that is not mine, the passing unfamiliar scenery blurs before my eyes.
My mind drifts to an entirely different scene, one that never existed.
White, blinding white fills my vision. Thin black trees spear the grey sky with their gnarled, naked forms.
Pink and purple glint off out of the corner of my eye, and I turn. There's a smooth, glossy lake laid out before me. Sparkling, it reflects the sunlit sky.
The view before me stretches out onward, to the horizon. The only sound that greets my ears is silence. A feeling starts to grow deep inside of me.
This vast and empty place is radiant and perfect. Too much so. I feel as if...with my all too imperfect existence, maybe I don't belong.
Maybe I'm just an ugly blotch on this otherwise perfect painting.
That's when I recognize the feeling within.
Ah, so it's my old friend...Loneliness.
I stand where I am, unmoving, for what feels like an eternity.
If I continue to endure, would spring eventually come?
Would this sparkling lake melt and release the life within? Would I be able to see this frozen tundra filled with greenery and blossoms?
Time passes, or maybe it doesn't. But night falls either way.
In this dark and empty place, I am alone.
It isn't long before I see twinkling against the night sky.
I look up, eager for company. But I realize the light I saw was actually gently falling white stuff in front of my face.
Snow...A different sort of company, then, but gladly welcomed.
I look at the beautiful snow gently drifting down around me, as if it was just for me. Hesitantly, my shaking hand reaches out to catch it.
The snow sits in my palm, fragile, but there.
Alone in this strange and harsh place, I suddenly feel desperate.
What if it stops snowing? What if...I can't keep it?
I'd be back to being alone then.
My heart pounds, my throat tightens, my mouth becomes dry as the heat from my hand causes the snow to begin to melt.
"No...Please..." These useless words escape my cold lips, a small plea against the cold, dark night.
But of course, the snow soon becomes water and slips through my fingers.
I'm left staring at my now-empty hand, all alone.
I know it's useless to try to capture anymore, yet I still reach my hand out and try. Time and time again.
"Is it really that meaningful?"
My heart slams against its ribcage; the gentle voice came from beside me.
I turn to see a man standing there. No, a girl. The figure shifts and warps before my eyes. But they're the most beautiful sight I've ever seen in this desolate place.
"The snow," she (?) points up at the sky with a smile. "You want to keep it, right? You want to keep it forever."
"So does it really mean so much to you?"
"You don't sound sure. Why does it mean so much?"
I think about it. Why was I trying so hard to hold onto it?
"It's the only thing close to life in this place."
"Is that so?" They ask. I nod uncertainly.
"If I was going to fight so hard to hold onto something, it'd be snowflakes. Don't you think those are more worth it?"
The girl walks towards the lake.
"Hey...! That's dangerous," I say. "You don't know if that ice will hold!"
But the girl only gives me a smile before confidently striding out onto the lake. I fear that she'll slip as she steps onto the ice, but she simply holds her hand out.
A snowflake falls right into her hands.
"See? This is much more beautiful and unique."
She holds it out to me, but doesn't move. I realize she means for me to come to her to see it.
Gingerly, with her smile beckoning me, I move towards the lake.
I finally step out onto it and view the fractal within her palm.
My breath is stolen by its fragile beauty. No words come to mind, none at all.
She gently drops it in my hand.
I stare in awe as I look at it this way and that in the moonlight.
"Wasn't that worth waiting for?"
Thinking about it, I nod slowly.
"You know, I think I was looking for the snowflake all along."
I smile at her and she returns it with a warm one of her own.
Then the ice cracks below her feet.
I reach out to her, but she just...
Out of my grasp. I only see her knowing eyes and steady smile for a fraction of a second before she instead plunges into the icy depths without a sound.
I sink to my knees, looking into the dark water below.
But I see only a reflection of myself looking back at me.